For Our GOOD : Easter

Here is a bold and hard statement to hear and honestly believe: God ultimately allowed infertility in our lives For Our GOOD. So sorry to be so blunt but it is the TRUTH. But hear this - God is still a GOOD GOD even though he allowed hard, bad, not ideal circumstances into our (YOUR) lives - even infertility. Do you believe that?

This is one of the main principles we have been learning in our Ladies Group Study every other monday as we work through what the Word of God says about our Infertility within our book. 

Principle 1: Life is from God, and (so then) infertility is too.

Principle 2: The Lord brought disappointment/pain/infertility into my life for His Glory and for my Good.

Okay, if this is true and some of us may know it to be true, then what do I do with this now? 
I can't see the why. I can't see the end. I can't see the purpose. The reason and the ultimate good that may come from this. {I so wish I could jump off this screen be in front of you, give you a tight hug and say "I know this is so hard and so not fair or okay" and because I've been there and on the other side and being there again and back on the other side - I can say it is just a season. God says "wait" or "not right now" or "no" but He does redeem everything within His hands.}

Ugh... it is so hard to be limited beings but it truly makes me thankful, especially when I can't see or understand, that I know, trust and whole-heartedly believe in the Infinite God Almighty and His Son Jesus Christ.

For all you Type A's out there saying get to the point... what am I to do? Begin, Start, Allow yourself to daily surrender it ALL - Jesus did this for us on the cross, so why is He enough for our salvation & eternity, but not enough to hold together our infertility (hope of future, babies, loss, and unknowns)?  May we Trust because He is worthy and capable of it, He keeps proving it to you. How many times must He? 

Why is the cross and resurrection not enough to know He is trustworthy and has our ultimate good in mind? Even though this world is fallen and bad things exist at every turn, He turns them into good even when we can't see it now! 

Rest knowing HE WILL MAKE THIS GOOD, but please understand that it might not be the "good" or "way" you had hoped for. Nonetheless "He is a good God!"

"Therefore we do not give up or lose heart, even though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day" (2 Cor 4:16)

Please allow this truth to soak into the innermost parts of your heart as you reflect upon Good Friday and Easter. This is His love story for you and it is GOOD! It is not called "bad friday," but Good because it remembers the day Jesus willingly suffered and died by the cross as our ultimate sacrifice. What was intended for bad and death became His victory and our ultimate victory as God's plan culminated in saving his people from our own bad when he rose from the dead 3 days later. He is actively alive, living inside of us if we choose to allow his good into our hearts. We celebrate Easter because there is nothing more important in all of life than this... the love story He created to rescue and make good what we made bad.
 

Please pray for your hearts to not live in fear but FULLY TRUST and FULLY PRAY knowing that our GOD doesn't need us protecting ourselves - HE CAN & WILL HOLD US TOGETHER regardless. PERIOD! (blog post here about: How to Pray?...)

Allow this song below to speak to your heart this week: this one in particular is such an anthem for what we spoke about above (and in group Monday night), that God did ultimately allow infertility into our lives for Our GOOD. As hard as that is to fathom, we want to believe and be thankful that "his ways are higher than ours" and I can rest in the fact that He does know better than me because He does know ALL. "The beginning and the end!" May that comfort you in this time.

Cast my Cares - Finding Favour (lyrics)

When fear feels bigger than my faith

And struggles steal my breath away

 

When my back's pressed up against the wall

With the weight of my worries stacked up tall

You're strong enough to hold it all

 

I will cast my cares on You

You're the anchor of my hope

The only one who's in control

I will cast my cares on You

I'll trade the troubles of this world

For Your peace inside my soul

 

This war's not what I would've chosen But

You see the future no one knows yet

And there's still good when I can't

See the working of Your hands

You're holding it all

Please go to our Spotify Waiting in HOPE - Songs of Hope playlist for these songs and more.

Personal Prayer Sample: Pray desperately - God can handle it and we need a God because we are needy people. "Please Lord forgive me for where I place my infertility, wanting and desiring a baby and to grow our family above you. I know I have let it become an idol (a god worshipped higher than the one true God) in areas of my life, my thinking and sadly my heart. Please renew and restore my heart for a fresh and true perspective of who you are and how you love me! First and foremost, I want and need you, more and more of you. A baby in my arms without you Jesus would still be empty. Oh Lord, take my weak heart, trust and faith and make it strong in You. I want to desire Your Will more than my own.  I know my God is ABLE, I pray He WILL! May this be Your perfect timing for my sweet baby to come live here with us and may you protect it's little life and not call him/her back to yourself in heaven (although I know that is ultimately the better place for us all). Please do a miracle God, as only you can. "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God All things are possible.'" May you be glorified and praised above my attempts to control, my wants and efforts - May you be glorified above medicine, doctors, treatments and procedures. Medicine, science and doctors don't make miracles. May you be Above, Before and Within it All for all to see what My God Can Do, not me or my doctors. You were victorious on the cross my Jesus and I want you to be victorious in my life for all to see." AMEN

Trusting in the Lord... in the wait

Justin and I are both being refined and challenged in the area of trusting God. We want to fully and completely Trust God with our situation. Not just “saying” we are trusting, but instead a trust that leads you to rest everything on Him without watching or preparing yourself for what “could happen”. Far too often I think I am trusting God when I tell Him with my mouth “God I trust you” but it never reached my heart. I was falsely saying it in hope that the elusive trust would then be created in me. I may often say it when really I’m keeping a close watch on my emotions, feelings and plans to “guard my own heart.” But let’s be honest, neither of those options will bring real peace or comfort to our soul.

Only true and complete Trust in our Lord and Savior can do that.

This kind of trust starts with a confidence and faith in Christ, as you turn your mindset to be that of “God you are who you say you are and you can hold all things together. Therefore I Trust you with all my being, for you know the plans and you are able to do anything, even the impossible. But regardless of your plan, you will and are the only One who can hold me together whether good or bad!”

With this new approach in Truly Trusting…thus far we’ve experienced peace regardless of the circumstance. During the treatments, IUI procedure and even in the current waiting to know if we are pregnant.

Waiting is a whole blog post for another day… but anyone going through this knows that all you experience is WAITING. Constant, continual and reoccurring waiting. And who’s good at that?
But it seems that when you are fully trusting (with your whole weight, heart, expectations) the waiting becomes easier, crazy I know. But I’ve experienced that God can do that, He can turn your waiting into a pleasure (maybe not always that far… but an assured promise). When your focus is on Him and His plan, not you and your desperately needed plan, He moves in. BIG. And right now I am daily thankful for Him moving Big in my heart, because I desperately need that.

Here are a few examples of ways He has been moving… 
(keep your eyes open and looking, I promise He is speaking) 

Last week we realized that for a while now Justin & I were both praying and reading Psalms 33:20-23 daily over our current situations. (Read We feel so blessed… where I previously wrote about this scripture.)
And today during worship service, we sang “Waiting Here for You” (by Christy Nockels) and wow I couldn’t have picked a better song at that moment to bring before the Lord. Soon after the song ended a dear friend (passed me a note... so high school I know - I loved it) she shared a verse in her sweet note that of course began my tears. But the verse was actually one I had been writing in my journal and without realizing it praying through this week. Psalm 130:5-8 “I wait for Jehovah (Lord), my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchman wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemptive abundance. He himself will redeem Israel…”

Interestingly enough, while writing this Pandora was playing a song expressing my thoughts and words perfectly, I had to stop and add them. God’s Amazing that way. (See I told you...look for ways He is speaking, just ask for Him to show you - it helps in the waiting times)

Bethany Dillon “All That I Can Do”
Oh, all that I can do is hold onto You
And follow where You lead
Where You’re leading me.     
And all that I can do is hold onto You
And let You bring me through, oh

When the waves begin to rise
And all my hope fails
In confidence I’ll close my eyes
Trusting You’ll be there, be there

All that I can do is hold onto You
And let You bring me through
It’s all that I can do

In this dreaded 2 week wait, all I can do is hold onto the Lord, trust and let Him bring me through like the perfectly timed song reminds us. It is truly all that I (you) can do! Waiting isn't as hard even when the water rises and all our remaining hope fails when we choose Trust over our expectations and desires we instead surrender saying "thy will be done, Amen!" Lord, you've got this and "in confidence I'll close my eyes - trusting you'll be there."

Friends, are you or do you realize that all you can do is hold onto the Lord our God during your waiting? Or are you like so many out there more focused on holding on to your own ways and plans, like a selfish little child, shaking your fist "I know better" "where have you been?"

Is your waiting only about and for it ending? Is your waiting only about and for your desired answer? 

2 Corinthians 4:18 - So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (NIV) So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (NLT)

Or even in your waiting and unknowns, you are concerned more with the glory of God and His goodness to be known. Not merely to display your own efforts, resolutions, and deserved earthly blessings. This became my prayer in and for my heart. That I would become more concerned with His glory, His will, and His will to be done in and through my life and infertility journey. I pray this would become your prayer and focus in your waiting and trusting too. Amen.

2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV) For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.

Hebrews 11:1 (MSG) It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead.