We wanted to end this week of posts on a high note. And what better way than to dive deeper into our name – Waiting in HOPE.
Day 6 : Hope
This isn’t just any kind of hope – it’s an expectant HOPE - not the kind that makes us stay in a place of wishful thinking, doubt, and frustration. A hope that draws us closer to Jesus and that our souls find rest in. Not a hope that expects only a YES from God, but one that knows He has plans for us and our future kids (biological or adopted).
A few weeks ago, I had just had enough of this waiting game. I’m sure you have been there as well if you have ever waited on something… whether it’s a baby, a house, a job, etc. I was so frustrated with the Lord. Why not me God? What is wrong with the way you created me – why did you make me like this? I deeply desire this and why don’t you care? Do you even hear me? So one night, my husband led us in prayer over it and he asked me to pray. I just shook my head because I had no words. So my husband patiently waited on me for several minutes until finally the only words I uttered were “God, I’m really mad at you right now.” And my husband prayed over us.
The thing is, thankfully the Lord has not allowed me to stay in that place of doubt and anger. And I sincerely pray that He will do the same for you. The next morning I got up and spent time with Him and He gave me something to hold on to for that day and encourage my heart. Then, I would go throughout the day and think about my lack of pregnancy, get angry with Him, and start all over! Infertility can be such a cycle of emotions - hourly, daily and for sure monthly.
Yet I’m so thankful He kept drawing me to Him during my hurt and I made the choice to seek Him. He draws all of us in but we have to make the effort to seek Him, to choose Him.
One of the things the Lord taught me that has been my go-to verse during this season is Isaiah 33:2. It has completely changed my attitude. You see, we can let ourselves spiral into this pit of despair by dwelling on our thoughts of anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. But Jesus wants to take our thoughts captive so that the enemy cannot have a foothold. When I realized that my thoughts could be taken captive and that I had a part in not letting them consume my mind (thanks to a sweet friend in my accountability group), I have experienced a miraculous healing.
“O Lord, be gracious to us. We have waited expectantly for you. Be the arm of your servants – their strength and defense each morning, their salvation in times of trouble.” – Isaiah 33:2 (AMP)
Let’s break this verse down:
LORD – is Yahovah – the self existent, eternal God. This is the God that I call out to and the One that is in control. I can fully trust him.
Gracious – asking God to bend down in kindness to us. He alone is the Creator of life so I call out to him to see me and bend down to me because I need him to.
Waited – I love this word because it means to look expectantly, to patiently tarry. It doesn’t mean to spiral into despair and angrily tap your foot while you wait. It’s expecting him to answer and knowing that He can. God help me to wait like this!
Arm – this is God’s mighty strength. He holds us in his strong hands but this verse calls for the strength of his entire arm to help. Yes Lord I need that amount of strength to endure this!
Time of trouble – this means just a season. It doesn’t mean forever. If I can remember this is the season God has called me to, I can endure it a lot better because I know that seasons change whether it’s a season of adversity, a season of joy, a season of healing, a season of distress. It’s just a season.
So when my thoughts wander each and every day like they inevitably do, I start repeating this verse (Isaiah 33:2) over and over in my head until the old thoughts disappear like a vapor. Instead it radically transforms my attitude and always leads to praise. I can praise Him even when His answer is “No” or “Not Yet”… he does answer my prayers and knows what is best. I can tell you that as this verse has been implanted in my heart, I’ve been able to truly rejoice with my pregnant friends and draw closer to God. And experience what Waiting in HOPE truly looks like.
Here is one more song to leave you with (as you can tell music really ministers to my heart! If you are the same, click here to follow our playlist on Spotify where we share different songs that we love). It’s called Touch The Sky by Hillsong United and here is my favorite part:
Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
And my soul will dance
On the wings of forever
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
Expectant Hope is found when I lay down my life at the feet of Jesus.
I love that verse “upward falling.” When I fall on my knees and cry out to Him, my spirit soars with hope. I run from my urge of ISOLATION. I embrace the WAITING as I live out His perfect will and make the choice every moment of the day to TRUST Him. I know that He is still fully in CONTROL of my life and that He has a beautiful, good PURPOSE for all of this. I will not let my heart be troubled or afraid (John 14:27).
I hope you will allow God to transform your waiting into something that truly brings light to others and glory to Him.
- thanks to Callee Maglothin for sharing her story and writing both Day 1 & 6.
Infertility Awareness Week Series Posts: Day 1 - Day 2 - Day 3 - Day 4 - Day 5 - Day 6
