As I observed this vacant scene on the shores of Lake Erie, I marveled at the wonder of God’s creation and how, every year, He allows nearly every sign of life to be obscured by ice, freezing temperatures and snow.
When we first started trying for a baby two and a half years ago, the early months held tendrils of hope. My mind swam with thoughts of our future family, not thinking for a moment of the difficulty we might face along the way.
It was 6AM, and my eyes were heavy as I tried to make sense of the Scripture passage laid out in front of me.
Infertility is a physical problem, but it has ramifications that go far beyond the physical. God gave us not just a body, but a mind, heart, and soul (Matthew 22:37).
Meet Waiting in Hope Leaders: Kelly Laning, Central Houston Leader as she shares her story of infertility and Gods plans of identity and her purpose.
Here is a bold and hard statement to hear and honestly believe: God ultimately allowed infertility in our lives For Our GOOD. So sorry to be so blunt but it is the TRUTH. But hear this - God is still a GOOD GOD even though he allowed hard, bad, not ideal circumstances into our (YOUR) lives - even infertility. Do you believe that?
This is one of the main principles we have been learning in our Ladies Group Study every other monday as we work through what the Word of God says about our Infertility within our book.
Okay, if this is true and some of us may know it to be true, then what do I do with this now?
I can't see the why. I can't see the end. I can't see the purpose. The reason and the ultimate good that may come from this. {I so wish I could jump off this screen be in front of you, give you a tight hug and say "I know this is so hard and so not fair or okay" and because I've been there and on the other side and being there again and back on the other side - I can say it is just a season. God says "wait" or "not right now" or "no" but He does redeem everything within His hands.}
For all you Type A's out there saying get to the point... what am I to do? Begin, Start, Allow yourself to daily surrender it ALL - Jesus did this for us on the cross, so why is He enough for our salvation & eternity, but not enough to hold together our infertility (hope of future, babies, loss, and unknowns)? May we Trust because He is worthy and capable of it, He keeps proving it to you. How many times must He?
"Therefore we do not give up or lose heart, even though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day" (2 Cor 4:16)
Please allow this truth to soak into the innermost parts of your heart as you reflect upon Good Friday and Easter. This is His love story for you and it is GOOD! It is not called "bad friday," but Good because it remembers the day Jesus willingly suffered and died by the cross as our ultimate sacrifice. What was intended for bad and death became His victory and our ultimate victory as God's plan culminated in saving his people from our own bad when he rose from the dead 3 days later. He is actively alive, living inside of us if we choose to allow his good into our hearts. We celebrate Easter because there is nothing more important in all of life than this... the love story He created to rescue and make good what we made bad.
Please pray for your hearts to not live in fear but FULLY TRUST and FULLY PRAY knowing that our GOD doesn't need us protecting ourselves - HE CAN & WILL HOLD US TOGETHER regardless. PERIOD! (blog post here about: How to Pray?...)
Allow this song below to speak to your heart this week: this one in particular is such an anthem for what we spoke about above (and in group Monday night), that God did ultimately allow infertility into our lives for Our GOOD. As hard as that is to fathom, we want to believe and be thankful that "his ways are higher than ours" and I can rest in the fact that He does know better than me because He does know ALL. "The beginning and the end!" May that comfort you in this time.
Cast my Cares - Finding Favour (lyrics)
When fear feels bigger than my faith
And struggles steal my breath away
When my back's pressed up against the wall
With the weight of my worries stacked up tall
You're strong enough to hold it all
I will cast my cares on You
You're the anchor of my hope
The only one who's in control
I will cast my cares on You
I'll trade the troubles of this world
For Your peace inside my soul
This war's not what I would've chosen But
You see the future no one knows yet
And there's still good when I can't
See the working of Your hands
You're holding it all
Please go to our Spotify Waiting in HOPE - Songs of Hope playlist for these songs and more.
Personal Prayer Sample: Pray desperately - God can handle it and we need a God because we are needy people. "Please Lord forgive me for where I place my infertility, wanting and desiring a baby and to grow our family above you. I know I have let it become an idol (a god worshipped higher than the one true God) in areas of my life, my thinking and sadly my heart. Please renew and restore my heart for a fresh and true perspective of who you are and how you love me! First and foremost, I want and need you, more and more of you. A baby in my arms without you Jesus would still be empty. Oh Lord, take my weak heart, trust and faith and make it strong in You. I want to desire Your Will more than my own. I know my God is ABLE, I pray He WILL! May this be Your perfect timing for my sweet baby to come live here with us and may you protect it's little life and not call him/her back to yourself in heaven (although I know that is ultimately the better place for us all). Please do a miracle God, as only you can. "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God All things are possible.'" May you be glorified and praised above my attempts to control, my wants and efforts - May you be glorified above medicine, doctors, treatments and procedures. Medicine, science and doctors don't make miracles. May you be Above, Before and Within it All for all to see what My God Can Do, not me or my doctors. You were victorious on the cross my Jesus and I want you to be victorious in my life for all to see." AMEN
The book is "Green Pastures of a Barren Land": Finding Contentment in Life's Desolate Seasons by Candice Farmer. I know it's a little intense of a title but the book is based on 7 biblical truths, or as she calls them life-saving principles, about God that allowed her to experience wholeness, recovery, deliverance, peace, contentment, and hope. Even after what could have been her life-shattering "incurable barrenness" diagnosis.
Honestly, we all need these Godly perspectives and truths to make it through any hard time, which is why I am most pumped about this study and focusing on how Scripture/God's WORD can transform our wounded and hurting hearts into healed vessels of beauty and peace.
I believe this could be such a great resource for each of you & your soul to cling to during this time. Please read it regardless of if you plan to come to group or not.
And if you know anyone interested in being a part of this group or could use this book, please share and help them know they too are "Not Alone".
*EMAIL FOR DATES (AS THEY MAY CHANGE)
