“You’re in a season of low visibility. You’re not completely in the dark but you’re in a place where you can only see one foot ahead. I believe the Lord intended it to be this way.”
I’ll never forget when a friend spoke these words to me. I felt like I had been muddling through the fog and the dark haze of unknowns and unexplained infertility for far too long. I believe waiting in the unknown and walking by faith through the unseen are two of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do. There were plenty of days when I thought it would crush me.
How can I be expected to just keep absorbing these shattering blows? How do I move forward? What choice do I have? Can I pick myself back up and keep going?
There are a million parts of walking this road of infertility that we don’t get to decide. Almost all of it feels out of our control. But there is one thing WE DO get to decide: What we seek during this time. Proverbs 2 has some hints for us (1-11):
“Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.”
What will outlast this season of infertility? Wisdom.
What will never be a waste of our time? Seeking wisdom.
What will benefit us our entire lives and those around us? Growing in wisdom.
Like all good things, growing in wisdom is a process. It is one of the most important treasures we can pursue in our lives. There’s a reason God tells us in Proverbs to listen to His words and not let them leave our sight. He says to keep His words in the center of your heart. “For they are life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.” Proverbs 4:20-22
I believe these are the answers and this is the healing we need most. Soak in this next verse and take time to pause with each description:
“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” James 3:17
The wisdom that comes from God is...
Pure.
Peaceable.
Gentle.
Willing to yield.
FULL of mercy.
AND good fruit
Without partiality
Without hypocrisy.
I don’t know about you but I could use a whole lot more of all of those things in my life. Here’s the good news….we can grow in them! How? By putting one foot in front of the other in the direction of our God who loves us. Taking steps toward Him one day at a time. Seeking Him and His wisdom through His Word.
It can sound simple and hard at the same time. I promise that growing in wisdom happens when when we take step after step, day after day in a Godward direction. And let’s not forget to simply ask Him:
“If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given to you” James 1:5
He will never get tired of us asking. Why not ask him every day and see what happens?
“Those who are wise will shine like the bright heavens. And those who lead many to do what is right and good will shine like the stars forever and ever.” Daniel 12:3
That’s a picture of what I think will happen. After faithfully putting one foot in front of the other in front of the other through this low visibility season, slowly but surely, we begin to emerge. Maybe without even realizing it at first...but we are indeed coming out of the fog. Then one day there is more light in front of us.
For the first time in a long time we detect light instead of darkness. Someone may even say how they see wisdom shining through us. But don’t stop there! More treasure exists, ready to be found. Keep going! The reward of growing in wisdom is great and will long outlast this present season of infertility.
A few practical ways to seek wisdom:
Join or start a Bible Study
Who is someone you think of as wise in your life? Find ways to spend more time with them!
Jaclyn Toscas - Content Team
Jaclyn recently joined the content team and we are honored to have her added voice. She grew up in the Houston suburb of The Woodlands and lives in the Washington DC area with her husband of six years. Through her 5-year journey of infertility, IVF and loss, she has discovered great passion in helping women rediscover God’s goodness through their pain.
