I can't believe we have wrapped up November for December. Friends, where did November go? With that comes the end of Adoption Awareness month, I pray you've asked yourself the question. Would I be open to adoption if God lead me down that path or is He? (then tell someone - your HONEST answer, be sure to check your heart)
Waiting in Hope (WiH) believes we are all called as disciples or followers of Jesus Christ (if you are one) as the bible says, "to love and care for the orphan and widow." This looks different for everyone some go, help the orphans or adopt, some pray and support those emotionally who are and some give to those adopting, and caring for the orphan (foster, adopted). We don't have to do all of this, Just one simple first step. I'm asking you right now to pray, simply ask God the above question then ask yourself, "Would I be okay with not having biological children if that is not the plan for my life?"
We must each examine our heart and ask these questions within our infertility & waiting journey. Please read the story below. we chose to wrap up adoption awareness month with a true reflection of Hope in the midst of pain and confusion through our friend, Katherine's #waitinginhopestories. Enjoy.
The day I got married was truly one of the happiest days of my life. It felt like the beginning of forever; the sun was shining brightly in my life and of course, I just knew in my mind exactly how forever was going to play out: marriage, jobs, children, and an eternity of bliss!
Those first few years of marriage were picture perfect. I had my dream job as a high school teacher and my husband, Stephen had his dream job as a pharmacist. He was fulfilled in his role as provider and I was fulfilled in my role as his helpmate. After three years of marriage on November 7, 2010, while siting in a deer stand early in the morning, Stephen and I decided it was finally time to grow our family. At that moment we felt the sun shining even brighter in our lives.
Hope, joy, and anticipation filled our lives for the next few months, but then slowly, yet in other ways oh so quickly, as the months began to come and go, the brightness that had always been began to fade and life seemed to be losing its light. Despair and defeat replaced joy and anticipation as our lives moved from the brightness of day to the darkness of night; yet Hope always remained.
> I know you are thinking, How did Hope remain? Keep reading, I’ll share…
Our road to growing our family began with four years of trying to conceive, one trying naturally, one with the help of clomid therapy, followed by two with a specialist. A failed IUI, a successful IUI (only to end in the tragedy of miscarriage), followed by six more failures ultimately led us to the end of our pursuit of pregnancy through medical treatment in November of 2013.
A seemingly short month later, a new roller-coaster began with our journey to adoption. We placed a profile with our local crisis pregnancy center in December hoping for a local private adoption, but knew the wait could be years. To our elation and surprise we were contacted by Heartbeat in the middle of January and informed a couple had chosen us to adopt their baby girl Lillian. We met with Lillian’s birth parents, attended a prenatal appointment where we saw her beautifully formed eight month body on the ultrasound screen, and then met with the lawyer the following day to sign our paperwork, only to find out later that afternoon, Lillian’s birth parents did not sign theirs. They assured us they had not changed their minds but wanted to show our profile to their family over the weekend and would meet back up with us on Monday. One of the anthems we were preparing at that time in choir had this amazing line… “From our sorrow springs new joy; out of sin, grace lifts its voice. In our weakness comes strength to fight; there is hope in the night.” Great sorrow was to come when we would not get the follow up meeting with Lillian’s birth parents. We felt so raw and our hearts ached with a pain we had experienced only once before with the loss of our first baby through miscarriage.
We did not understand what God was doing and honestly to this day I don’t understand the reason it all happened, BUT we had to trust God was in control. And truly when I look back at it all…from our sorrow new joy did spring, out of sin grace did lift its voice, in our complete weakness HE gave us strength to fight, and so, there was hope in the night.
The short of the rest of our story is Lillian was born about two weeks later and removed by CPS at four days old. We were informed of this and told she was being placed with a great aunt at the request of her birth mother. At that point we grieved the loss of our daughter, having to let go, while praising God for her safety and His protection. Six weeks later we received a call from Lillian’s CASA worker giving us an update on her case and letting us know she in fact had not been placed with the great aunt but was in a foster home. We were asked if she became available for adoption would we still want her. Our immediate response was “YES, of course!” In that moment a renewed hope entered our lives. The following morning we received the phone call of a lifetime. Our dear friend Stephanie, who also happens to be the lawyer for the county that handles all the CPS cases, was on the other end of the line: “Anna, what are you doing this afternoon?” I responded, “Nothing.” While holding back tears Stephanie asked, ”Do you want to go pick up your daughter this evening?” In that instant it was if Lillian had been raised from the dead (a unexpected miracle.)
Those four years before Lillian’s arrival, God allowed us to experience a deep pain like none before, but in turn He applied his deep healing salve on our lives. He changed our marriage forever, in the most intimate of ways, through shared grief, which in turn brought us individually and as a couple to full dependence on Him. To be quite honest, until this chapter of my life, I had had it pretty easy.
Everything had always gone according to MY plan; so of course trusting God came naturally.
It has now been seven years since we first started trying to grow our family. While this wasn’t the story I would have written for myself, it is far better, one I never even knew to pray or dream for, one penned by the Creator himself all to proclaim the Hope of Jesus Christ that can only be found in the night!
So I leave those who are finding themselves in the dead of night with the words of my favorite anthem, praying they will bring the same comfort to you as they have for me so many times throughout this journey!
Through the darkness, breaks the light; out of death, He brings new life.
From the ashes, beauty will rise; there is hope in the night.
From our sorrow springs new joy; out of sin,
grace lifts its voice.
In our weakness comes strength to fight;
there is hope in the night.
So sing, O saints, a song of praise.
Let fearless faith break every chain!
God’s mercy saves, we testify;
There is hope in the night.
Over hatred, love prevails; past our doubt truth never fails.
In our blindness, His word gives sight; there is hope in the night.
So sing, O saints, a song of praise.
Let fearless faith break every chain!
God’s mercy saves, we testify;
There is hope in the night.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, His anthem echoes forevermore.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, our endless hope is Christ the Lord.
So sing, O saints, a song of praise.
Let fearless faith break every chain!
God’s mercy saves, we testify;
There is hope in the night.
There is hope in Jesus Christ;
There is hope, there is hope, in the night!
- Thanks to Katherine Pruitt for sharing her personal story with us at Waiting in Hope. Katherine has resided in East Texas for half her life (though she is a proud native Louisianan); she and her husband, of almost 10 years, Stephen have 2 adopted children. Katherine is one of WiH's local ministry leaders and will be leading the Nacogdoches, Texas group starting in Feb. 2017. We are thankful for her hopefully voice and heart for infertility and adoption.
