As I observed this vacant scene on the shores of Lake Erie, I marveled at the wonder of God’s creation and how, every year, He allows nearly every sign of life to be obscured by ice, freezing temperatures and snow.
When we first started trying for a baby two and a half years ago, the early months held tendrils of hope. My mind swam with thoughts of our future family, not thinking for a moment of the difficulty we might face along the way.
It was 6AM, and my eyes were heavy as I tried to make sense of the Scripture passage laid out in front of me.
Infertility is a physical problem, but it has ramifications that go far beyond the physical. God gave us not just a body, but a mind, heart, and soul (Matthew 22:37).
I was broken by each one of my miscarriages. Individually they brought, heartache, pain, grief and questions. Oh, so many questions. But there is one within the group that I am thankful for.
It should have been a day filled with great joy and celebration but, instead, my heart was full of deep grief and sadness.
It was December 2017 when my family plans were first turned upside down by a sudden and unexpected miscarriage. My son Ben was two and a half at the time, and settling into preschool well, so it felt like the perfect time to expand our family.
If, like me, you’ve been on an infertility journey for any length of time you know the struggle is more than real when it comes to sex and intimacy.
As a man, the idea of not being able to have kids and become a father was never on my radar. In fact, it was the opposite for many years after my wife, Kelley, and I got married. I was actually trying hard to NOT have kids until I thought we “were ready,” and I had all my ducks lined up in a row.
