As I observed this vacant scene on the shores of Lake Erie, I marveled at the wonder of God’s creation and how, every year, He allows nearly every sign of life to be obscured by ice, freezing temperatures and snow.
When we first started trying for a baby two and a half years ago, the early months held tendrils of hope. My mind swam with thoughts of our future family, not thinking for a moment of the difficulty we might face along the way.
It was 6AM, and my eyes were heavy as I tried to make sense of the Scripture passage laid out in front of me.
Infertility is a physical problem, but it has ramifications that go far beyond the physical. God gave us not just a body, but a mind, heart, and soul (Matthew 22:37).
Mother’s day. It means something different each year, depending on the season we’re in—A dream that’s another year removed, the joy of answered prayers, the struggle of parenting a toddler, grief over a baby we will never get to hold. We can feel the sting of a relationship on the rocks, a longing for a mom that’s no longer with us this side of Heaven. I believe it’s possible to feel multiple emotions, all at once... and we can feel all of those emotions, heightened, on Mother’s Day.
We did not understand what God was doing and honestly to this day I don’t understand the reason it all happened, BUT we had to trust God was in control. And truly when I look back at it all…from our sorrow new joy did spring, out of sin grace did lift its voice, in our complete weakness HE gave us strength to fight, and so, there was hope in the night.
We did all the research you can imagine on agencies, countries, fees, timelines, and more. But when it came down to it, we decided on an international adoption for one main (and very profound) reason: we didn’t want any baby mama drama.
That’s right. Judge me if you like. The main reason we chose to adopt internationally was because we felt that adopting domestically might open the door for a baby’s mom to come “back” into our child’s life and mess up the good thing we had goin’ on. Baby mama drama, as Wes called it. No, thank you.
I know. Totally lame and shallow reason. That’s why I’m writing this blog about it, 7 years later.
